Harder than I thought...

So...some stuff has happened. A lot of stuff actually. The year is...2017. What? How the h- ? What the f... Pardon my censored shock and horror.
This was the year! The year the oldest daughter graduated from high school! Yes, I remember, there is one older and we did this 4 years ago. But this is The girl! The golden one, the best friend from birth. I thought her graduation and leaving for College (which happens in 3 days) was going to be the biggest thing for me to deal with and adjust to this year. WRONG... I will go back at some point and revisit her awesomeness and success, and some not so awesome moments, at a later time, (according to my track record it could be years from now.) This momentous year was, however, trumped by the middle child's diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes. The story of his diagnosis is one I will also have to hash out in another post, it's a hard one. Right now I must vent. I have not yet dealt with the post-trauma that often occurs in the aftermath of an emergency. The tears are always just below the surface. I keep shoving that cork farther into the 'feelings bottle'. In part, because I'm afraid that once the crying starts it won't stop; also, because the crisis really isn't over.  
Shortly after diagnosis someone made a comment that it wasn't a death sentence. They have 2 adult kids with T1 so I'm sure they know. "That's true," I thought, "BUT, it is a life sentence."
I know quite a few people with children that have T1, but I still feel completely alone in this. It's like I can see other people swimming and treading water near me but my head isn't bobbing above the surface of the water yet.
We were in Denver at the Barbra Davis Center for Childhood Diabetes, and they educated us pretty well. There is a ton of information and resources online, which I'm grateful for, but it almost feels like too much and not enough at the same time.
Here's what I have gathered so far: 1.treating Type 1 diabetes is a guessing game.  2. No two bodies are the same. 3. Hormones are a pain in the... 4. T1 boys + pubescent hormones is even worse (stone cold, won't talk, won't eat= contention) 5. I don't have my crap together. oh, and 6. Life flights and hospital bills are really expensive. 7. this sucks.
I hate watching my kids struggle. Especially when I'm no farther ahead than they are. I hope the blind really can lead the blind.