Don't bother reading, it's not pleasant

So...I always start my blogs with "so" ever notice? I just did. So...I've been thinking. Why did I move? My reason (biggest excuse) was to come live up here with my BFf and write. Which we have done. And I have had some kick butt experiences that couldn't have happened if I still lived over there. The weather here is oddly amazing and seasonally appropriate. It's unlike any other place in Wyoming I've found. The wind rarely, if ever, blows here. The moisture content is higher here than say, Casper, (where we were for Thanksgiving) but we're not breathing water. Sidenote: Casper is the land of the never ending wind. I think they call Chicago the windy city just because there are more people there to complain about the wind. But I bet the stats would show that Casper is truly the windiest of the windy cities.
We haven't gotten crazy snow. Which I wouldn't mind more of to be honest. No tornado's, no hail, rarely a thunderstorm, nothing like Texas. The summer's not to hot. Winter is cold like it should be. Weather is perfect, if not a little boring.
I don't have to lock my doors. House or car. I do, but I don't have to. This place is safe.
I have music. I am singing in a 12 piece women's choir. They call us the ambassadors for the Washakie Museum. We meet once a week. That's it. And these women can sing. It's lovely. I don't even have to go searching for a group. They called me.
My grade school kids, that'd be Sariah, Gabe, and Caleb, are doing amazing. there might be 200 kids in the whole school. Sariah had read over 1million words by the beginning of the second quarter. Her teacher said he couldn't have asked for a better student.
Gabe's fine and Caleb is quiet.
Spencer's experience with school has been crap. It's always been rough. But it's been really rough here. It's just the homework. So we are thinking about doing home school with him. There is a virtual academy for Wyoming. It's like a public school curriculum online. We'll learn more about it when Jason gets home. And yes, the thought of this scares the hell out of me, but so does leaving him in a school system where their main goal is making sure he can get a *job* out of high school. Not a career, not into college, a JOB (freakin back water crack smokin...I'm hormonal, let me complain) they need to change their objectives and their dialog.
So here is where my issues start to arise. I can't get into all of the Spencer issues with school because that could take all night and they aren't the only things putting weight on my head right now. Long story short. He took the *MAP* test, like the TAKS, they are given a percentile score, you know the *if yer kid got a 50% he scored better than 50/100 kids that took the test nationwide.* Spencer scored the following: general science 98%; Math 69%; Science concepts 91%; Reading 98%; Language usage 90%. Yet he is failing most of his classes because he doesn't want to play the *game*...
So I wonder, was moving here good for Spencer? Could Sariah have accomplished more in a place with more to offer. I don't know how things could have been different for Gabe and Caleb. But I think that Caleb would be reading better had he started in Katy like Sariah and Gabe did.
One hand the kids are safe and doing the best with what they have. Other hand could they be doing more.
NEXT. Jennifer is moving. I know, I know I could feel the BOO HISS from the Texans reading this. And I will BOO HISS louder than anyone, and I'll through in a What the hell. Jason is mad because I say hell a lot now, that's Jennifer's fault, she started it. I say it quietly, and mostly under my breath but still...
anyway...explanation. Bill, the husband of my BFF, has until now not decided upon a career. They have been floating around with their flower shop for 7 years now. It's just not, and hasn't been, paying all the bills. We all know this can happen when you own your own business (wink, wink, nudge, nudge Pizza what?). So he *man*ed up right before we moved here and started working for a dentist while Jenn ran the shop. Long story short. Dentist convinced Bill to go to dental school. Become dentist and come back, work here(ug ug). Two years in Laramie to finish undergrad(he's my age) then 4 years at a dental school somewhere. Good for him for deciding. Bad for me because it actually affects my family. I'm so bitter about this whole thing that I could just spit venom. He's supposedly leaving Jennifer here with the kids for another 10 months, so that she can attempt to sell/work the store. I don't think it'll be that long. I think they'll walk and that'll will shorten my time with my friend and the reason I moved to this particular little smelly town. Selfish or not I'm mad.
I have found a handful of people that I like in this little town. Kudos to them.
HOWEVER...At church I feel like a three ring circus act, either that or a car wreck. I feel like I'm being watched. I only like being watched when I'm on stage. Otherwise just let me have moments of weakness by myself so I can figure them out and then I'll put on the *perfect* face again. You don't get moments of weakness in a small town, if you do it's what defines you. In Texas I could go for a week and not see anyone, fall apart completely, twice even, and then pull it together before I had to see anyone.
Then there's the shopping...lack of shopping. Over priced, under quality shopping. That is all I will say about that, cause every time I go to the grocery store here I get angry and thinking about it makes me grumpy.
Bottom line...I wasn't happy in Texas for all the reasons that I am happy here, and I'm not happy here for all the reasons I was happy in Texas. SO if I could take all the people that I loved from down there and move them up here and if y'all brought a Walmart and HEB, and some geckos and frogs and a High School that didn't have a principal that taught math in MY high school from'87 to my graduating year of '93, not kidding, it was like walking in to a time warp, And if you could bring a dental school with you so that my bff's husband could get a stoopid career, then I might be perfectly content. Or if my husband, who is my bff #1, could get a high (enough) paying job, that would keep him home every night, I think that would make everything else null and void...since that probably won't happen here...
The bottom of the bottom line...I may not be happy anywhere, pathetic isn't it. I know, I know happiness is what you make it.

I am thankful and grateful and extremely blessed. I never doubt that, but there are days when the down of the down gets me and I shouldn't talk to people. That would be today, I'll be better tomorrow, wait tomorrow is Sunday. I'll be better on Monday, wait lets try Thursday, I like Thursdays. Thursday's are my favorite.