Holy UFO Batman!!!

So... when we were in SLC, wandering about a mall with 10 of *someone else's children*, and 2 of our own, Sariah bought a copy of Twilight. She's a crazy avid reader and so I figured the time would come, sooner or later, for her interest to hit these books. I conceded and let her read it. I've already heard all the books on CD, so I knew there were a few "mature" ideas floating around quite prevalently throughout the series. Regardless, I let her read it and then let her buy the other 3. Then I started to read them. Way better in print!
Late one night,(late, late, one night around midnight, after all the kids had finished watching a movie and fallen asleep) I was reading and getting ready for bed at the same time. I had just finished reading the part of the 3rd book where Jasper is telling his story about the newborn vampires, when I opened the door of my bathroom that leads to my bedroom. I looked down to watch my step as I walked out and my eyes met Lucky's, (he's the old dog.) There was this crazy excitement in his eyes, the same look that you might get from a tired 90-year old man if you showed him a picture of a lady in a bathing suit. I hadn't seen that kind of sparkle in his eyes in a long time. This is where the chain reaction started to happen. All of the following occured in about 5 seconds but some very distinct things happened in this order: First; question in my head...why are you looking like that? Second; What is causing you to look like that?(side note... we have a moth problem here. Well, I guess it really isn't a problem. They just find ways to occasionally get in the house and fly around the lights. No biggie. So as Lucky is starring at me with this "guess what I just saw!" look, I saw something flutter by the door. let's go back to what was happening in my head.)
Third; Wow, that's a big moth! Fourth; (as it flew by again) that's the biggest moth I've ever...WAIT a minute...that's not a moth, (flies by again) that's a bird! (Flies by again) WAIT that's not a bird...THAT'S A BAT!!!! SLAM goes the bathroom door panicking ensues. Think, think, think... Grab towel... thinking that I can flutter at it and send it out the door. Tip #1 Do not flutter a towel at a bat. They use echolocation to find where they are going and if you flap and flutter, they think you are either a threat or family and they will fly AT you. So there I was on the floor of the hallway, (we actually got out of my room), and I sent the dogs after it. The bat flew out to the living room and hung upside down off the popcorn ceiling, I kid you not. I was able to get a good look at it, from a distance mind you. It was the size of a medium sized Robin (that's a little funny) but it wasn't at the time, with its leathery wings wrapped around its body like a cocoon. It then flew back toward me and into the craft room. Its detour gave me the chance to shut the little boys room and all the other doors then run downstairs to retrieve the Boy Scout, Spencer. The conversation went like this, I said, "SPENCER, GET UP THERE'S A BAT IN THE HOUSE!" Spencer said, "cool."
We let the dogs outside. Boy Scout reminded me that there was a chance for the dogs to get bit and then that whole threat of possible rabies although statisically blah blah blah, thank you Spencer, how the crap are we going to get the BAT out of the house.
The next part of the story consists mostly of a lot screeching (my own), crawling around on the floor (me and Spencer), head covering (remember the towel), avoiding getting flown at, laughing (me and Spencer, mostly at each other, for crawling around on the floor and screeching),and Spencer saying "Holy Frack!"
We somehow managed to lure the bat out into the kitchen. We have fluorescent lights, I thought that maybe, just MAYBE, the bat might be attracted to the slight noise that comes from the lights. Maybe that wasn't the case, BUT, for whatever reason, the bat followed us out into the kitchen where we opened both sides of the french doors and waited while bat explored the kitchen and, what felt like, every area close to MY head. Eventually, the bat flew out the doors and we slammed them shut after it.
Needless to say Spencer and I were both a bit jumpy for the next couple of days. Any time a moth fluttered by, or a surround sound speaker (about the size of the bat) fell off the wall while we were watching a movie, we'd jump and have to fight the huge internal desire to hit the floor and screech, or throw out a "Holy Frack!"
Good day to ya