Awwww Crap

There are a lot of things in this world that make me say "Awwww crap." On occasion it is actually crap. When my almost 9-year-old daughter was 3 1/2 she swallowed a nickel. It got stuck in her throat on the way down. Halfway to the ER she told my husband that it was gone and that they could go home. He took her anyway. They x-rayed her little belly, and sure as snot, there was the perfect little circle, impenetrable be the x-rays. They told us that it was time to wait and in the next 24-48 hours it should pass through her system, but that we needed to watch for it "just in case." So for the next 24-48 hours worth of poop, I was mining for nickel, I found nothing. Thing was, Jason had taken her to work with him that next morning following the swallowing. She had done her business there. Did he bother to check? Oh no. So after all that checking I did, we figured the nickel came out when she went to work with daddy. Either that or she has been 5 cents richer for the last 5 years.
A mother's life is full of "Awwww crap." From the time these little babies come out with the nasty black meconium, to the lovely changes to solid food, to the even better stages of potty training, to the fun filled stomach flu that hits everybody in a line, it's all about poop. My latest "awww crap" has to do with Jacob. He's my most trying 3-year-old yet. All of my kids have been fully potty trained by this age. Except him. He does fine when it's his idea. But, if I dare suggest that he try pooping in the potty, it's like I've declared war. So I try not to force the issue. I've spent more days than not cleaning "awww crap" out of his underwear. Bleeackkhhh. We don't wear pull-ups anymore because that seems to give him permission to pee in them. And that's just backwards. He can make it through the night waking up dry in his underwear, so that is what we do. A couple of weeks ago he wore a pull-up to bed. In the morning I was doing, whatever with another child, and Sariah yells out "Eww, mom." With 5 brother's I hear this a lot from her. But then I heard "Jacob is smearing poop on the wall." and what comes to my mind? "Awww crap." Actually the picture I had in my mind wasn't that bad. He has the tendency to have his hands in places they shouldn't be and I figured he ran into something gross and wiped it on the wall. No big deal I would get to that after I changed him. He came over to me with a horribly nasty pull-up. Although I was frustrated and expressed my disappointment to him, I cleaned him up without many words and tossed him in the tub, then I went to clean up the spot on the wall... I asked the kids where it was. They pointed to the wall on the opposite side of the pantry. I went to find the *spot* and what I found was a portrait, a 2 foot by 3 foot finger painting... by Jacob... out of poop. "Awww crap." I have decided I need to invest in Mr. Clean magic erasers. And no, I didn't take a picture, thought about it...but I didn't want to subject anyone to that kind of artistic expression. So anyway...

Good day to ya.