Some Nasties and some Funnies

Must blog...I have already put the kids to bed, worked out and cleaned the kitchen floor so I think I have actually earned the blog time. So I must say that I like the floor in the family room, most of the time. It is slippery when your foot hits something that shouldn't be on it, i.e. blankets, toys, towels, the church bag. Yeah, so that last one caused me to experience a tumble a couple weeks ago. I can't actually say a tumble, more like a slide into home. Joey was sleeping on the couch, I was feeding the baby in the recliner, and drinking a bottle of water(what is taken must be replenished.) Joey rolled dangerously close to the edge of the couch and I knew it would hurt really bad if he hit the floor. So "Super Mom" flew into action and with one huge step I would stop that boy from hitting the floor...that was the plan anyway. What really happened was this. I had the baby and the bottle of water on my right side. I stepped with my right leg toward the couch, planning to reach across my body and catch Joey with my free left arm. My foot didn't notice that one of the children (to remain nameless), while having been obedient and bringing the *Sunday bag* in the house after church, had failed to put it in its proper place, which wasn't even in the family room. So my foot landed on the edge of the bag and I slid, down, down, down to the hard laminate covered concrete. Now a bunch of things happened all at the same time. First thought "save the baby" So mid fall I twisted toward my back almost throwing her on my stomach. In this process I landed my full weight and hers,(she's no Elliephant, but I am definitely not a mouse) on the point of my elbow. As I was falling toward the ground my fall was slowed down by my head hitting the front edge of the couch and sliding down until it also hit the ground. I didn't actually hit the side of my head. It was the top. Now that I think about it my head probably saved my elbow. Anyway as soon as I hit the ground I rolled on my back and looked at Ellie. She was startled, maybe a little irritated that her dinner was interrupted. She looked at me like "What the heck was that about?" She was fine. I then told her that we were going to just lay there for a minute. Which we did. All I could think was "I'm glad I'm 33 and not 63, because I probably would have broken something." (seriously, that was what went through my head) Remember the water? Well it had splashed up onto the couch and woke Joey up so that he repositioned himself away from the edge of the couch. I later decided that if I had to do it over, I would have just thrown the water. Everything is fine. My elbow is still a little sore, but just a little. Anyway I was going to tell you why I like the floor. Well, Joey has had a crazy mucusy(that must not be a real word...hmm it is now) cough for a long time. So I gave him some Mucinex for kids. I didn't think that it would expel mucus from everywhere. When we were finishing dinner(they pick the best times don't they) Joey got down from the table,(which was really very thoughtful) went into the family room and puked all over the floor. It was the nastiest slimy puke ever. I've seen a lot of puke. All I could think was "I'm so glad it's not carpet anymore. Super easy to clean up. And no stains." He seems to be feeling much better.
So after all that here is a funny image for you to put in your mind. It was nighttime prayer and my kids were scattered about the living room, sometimes we *circle the wagons* sometimes we don't. On my lap I held a Joey and a naked Jacob.(Jacob is always naked, especially when we have a bad potty day and no underwear left. Oh, that is the other nasty thing I had to clean up today. I should call that guy from Dirty Jobs. In my opinion poop in underwear is pretty bad but poop in the bathtub is the WORST) Anyway Spencer was saying the prayer and Jacob and Joey started to fight. So I grabbed the arms that were closest to each other and crossed them over their own bodies. This still left Joey's right arm available to grab the remote that was sitting nearby and attempt to use it as a weapon against Jacob. He missed and clocked me in the head. I didn't have a free arm to stop him with so on the next swing I grabbed it with my teeth. I can only imaging what this must have looked like to the other kids when the prayer was over and they opened their eyes. Naked Jacob and Joey pinned in each of mom's arms. And mom with the remote in her mouth. All in the name of reverence.

Good day to ya.