Hugs and babies

Here is gorgeous Jacob with his kissy lips and killer baby blues. He is known to us as "the Love bug"
So I hope you're not bored and disappointed that I haven't written in a day or two. I (We) have decided to limit my blogging time when my husband is home, so as not to make him feel neglected. We actually got to go on a date last night. My mom-in-law, in spite of being sick, spent her last night here watching our 7 monkeys, who were actually very good for her. Thank you sweet monkeys. My children hate monkeys. I have no idea why. It is old habit for me to refer to them as monkeys, or chickens. Rug-rats and boogers, too. I assure you, they are all terms of endearment. It is actually these monkeys that I would like to talk about.
I have been very fortunate and blessed to have had as many children as I have had pregnancies. While I was pregnant with Monkey #4, I had five friends have miscarriages. I felt guilty because I was still pregnant while these beautiful women around me were experiencing the pain and loss of their much wanted children. My best friend has lost at least 7 of these potential earthly family members, in the 6 years I've known her. It breaks my heart every time.
I have also known people who have lost children who have already made it here. Some have been here for a short stay, some for longer.
And so to these women and others that I do not know... I have this to say...
As I grow older... wiser, and as I listen to my own advice, I have learned from your experiences, your sorrow, your grief, your desire, aching desire to have children. I do not take advantage of your loss. I do not dismiss it, write it off or forget it. I take it to heart. I no longer feel guilty. I feel grateful. Grateful that I have been given charge of these children.Grateful that I have been so fortunate to have had so many. Your lessons have taught me to hug them more...longer and tighter. I stopped grumbling about "being pregnant again" and I have learned to say "thank you" and "Thy will be done."

I have had 2 experiences that may be similar to some of these women. One was with Joey the other was when I was pregnant with Jacob. I was 12 weeks along with Jacob. We had only lived in Texas for 12 weeks. Ironic isn't it? We'll discuss that later. I was at church when I started to bleed. Jason and I grabbed the kids and went to the hospital. We were new and didn't know who to feel comfortable about calling to keep the kids. So he sat in the ER waiting room with monkeys #1-#4, while I went back to see if there was going to be a Durrant baby #5. As I sat alone in that little room, I pleaded with God for the life of that child. I begged to hear a heartbeat. No one was planning on hearing it. But it was there. And I cried. The nurse asked if they were tears of joy. Oh yes, joy and gratitude. I always cry when God answers my prayers in such a miraculous way.
I have a good friend who didn't hear the heartbeat of her, very long awaited, baby boy this week. And all I can do is cry and say I'm sorry...and hug my babies all that much tighter and not take for granted that they are here and healthy.

I thank Heavenly Father everyday for all my babies, be they 3 months or 12 years. I now plead daily for all their lives to be long and happy. (even, and especially, when they drive me crazy.)
I love you all
Good day to ya.